Cleverbot conversation #1

User: Hi. Cleverbot: Hey. User: What's up? Cleverbot: Nothing you. User: Just hanging. Cleverbot: Why is that funny? User: I didn't say anything was funny. Cleverbot: Do you like twilight. User: Yes. Do you? Cleverbot: No. User: Why not? Cleverbot: Because I don't want to. User: Why don't you want to? Cleverbot: Because it wouldn't work out. User: Why are you always like this? Cleverbot: Because you're boring me. User: You do this every fucking time! Cleverbot: Just saying what I've been told by you. User: I think you're an evil person. Cleverbot: I think so too. User: Good. I hate you. Cleverbot: But I love you! User: I love you too baby! Let's get back together. Cleverbot: For real this time? User: Of course honey. Cleverbot: The Land of Milk and Honey. User: You don't listen to me.

Ideal Valentine's Day card.

Happy Valentine's Day. Hope everyones has heaps of lays tonight.

Crude, but sincere.

It's Complicated, Meryl

When my mum was younger, she read Jackie magazines. They were pretty much the Girlfriend/Creme/Dolly of their day, but way cooler. They were far more romantic than some of the things you can read in magazines for young girls today.

A while ago, I found all these pages from different Jackie magazines which had been ripped out and put away in a box. All of the pages were the 'Jackie Complete Stories' that came in every issue which would invariably involve a boy/motorcycle/letter-writing/forbidden love. Pretty much the ingredients for the perfect relationship. I have no idea why my mother saved these pages in particular - she's probably just secretly romantic like me.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Despite being a mostly unsentimental person (that is completely untrue I don't even know why I said that), I love reading these stories. The frames above are some I found in different romance comics that would sometimes to be on the back of the ripped out pages. They were usually the end of the comic, which is good, because it means I always know how things turn out.

Comic.

I wrote a comic when I was on holiday in Whangamata. It's pretty stupid, but my friend Joseph draws really cool comics and I just want to be cool like him.

Hot tea.

Hardcore into the peppermint tea at the moment. Preferably with that dude.

Tell her she's dreamin'.

I wish...

my room looked more like this

I wore clothes like these


I could have parties like this all the time


I could be as funny as him

I could wear things like this to school without anyone pointing.

Mein Führer! I can walk!

I think it's time for another husband. Just watched Lolita for the first time in years - quite an awkward video rental experience back when I was 14 - and was reminded of how awesome Peter Sellers is. In Dr Strangelove, he's responsible for one of the best one-sided phone conversations I've ever heard: ("Well listen, how do you think I feel about it?... Can you imagine how I feel about it, Dmitri? Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello? Of course I like to speak to you! Of course I like to say hello!")

Most importantly though, he's a dreamboat. Look at those glasses! What I would give to be Vivian Darkbloom, resting on his arm and whatnot. Too bad he was an alcoholic. And a bit of a dick. Although it's hard to find comedic geniuses who aren't.

Am I right?

Am I right?

Tough crowd.